Beware Insanity Ahead

I hate subjects

2006-06-01T18:16:34Z

Kris was found yesterday. I don't know any details, only that she was admited to a hospital then releaced today.

I hate Subjects

2006-05-29T18:12:33Z

Still no sign of Kris, though Owen knocked on Tammy's door early this morning. Owen wont talk to anyone, he wont even leave Tammy's room. They are looking for Kris.

Mike called like 10 minutes ago, she's in Ohio with her parents. I feel bad about not really caring. I mean I'm glad she is okay but I could care less were she is. I know I should but... I dont.

I hate Subjects

2006-05-25T23:39:38Z

I don't post lyrics very often, close to never but I've been listening to this song for around two days straight so I felt the need to post it's lyrics.

****

I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints but I can't help the fact
That everybody can see these scars
I am what I want you to want, what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you
To just believe this is real
So I, let go watching you turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here cause you're all that I've got

I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me I won't be ignored

I am, a little bit insecure, a little unconfident
Cuz you don't understand I do what I can
Sometimes I don't make sense
I am, what you never wanna say, but I've never had a doubt
It's like no matter what I do I can't convince you for once just to hear me out
So I, let go watching you turn your back like you always do
You face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here cause you're all that I've got

I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me I won't be ignored

Hear me out now
You're gonna listen to me like it or not
Right now, hear me out now
You're gonna listen to me like it or not
Right now

I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored

I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me I won't be ignored
I can't feel
Don't turn your back on me I won't be ignored
Time won't tell
Don't turn your back on me I won't be ignored

****

I feel as if I've lost all my words. I've always had something to say and I have always known what words to use but I don't anymore.

I hate Subjects

2006-05-24T01:55:03Z

Uh, yea. I haven't seen Mike since I left and Tammy hasn't heard from Kris or Owen in days. Giving up is easy, trying is the hard part.

I hate Subjects

2006-05-21T04:11:58Z

OMG was that the WORST trip I have EVER taken! It's not the place itself for I didn't leave my brothers house but once and that was to leave. I couldn't even make it one week with them. Penalten, Kathy, Mikey, and Joah are flying down in a couple days, they are the oldest of my brothers children. Sam, Katie and Ronald are too young to fly down here so they are staying with their dad. *sighs* I work well with children but I don't know how well me and my undisaplened brother's children are going to work out. Oh well, I'll just wish for the best. Gotta go to sleep now... Mike isn't here for some reason but I'm sure she'll show up tomorrow.

I hate Subjects

2006-05-14T13:21:43Z

I'm going to London, Canada to help out my little brother and his wife. I don't know were London, Canada is and I didn't know there even was a London in Canada before yesterday but still I told him I would go. I could be there from 1 week to 2 months or more depending on a few things. Mike is pissed I said I would go but he is my brother, my last living brother. When you only have 1 sibling living out of 8 than you tend to go more out of your way to help them out. I'm leaving on Tuesday, I hope I can figure out were I'm going by then.

I hate Subjects

2006-05-12T20:27:00Z

I took duel enrollment classes in high school because I thought I wanted to be a teacher. I do teach at times but only as a substitute because I learned that I couldn't deal with children everyday. Before I confuse you, I also work for Hummingbird which is who I did a 12 hour day for, anyway. I was a substitute for two history classes and a reading class today and I heard some of the funniest but most retarded things I have ever heard in my life.

In the history class (the first one, the second one was kind of boring) we were talking about the Middle East and we were going over a map of the middle east because they have exams next week. Anyway I asked a girl what this country was on the map (Sadia Arabia) and she said 'China'. I thought I was going to die tring not to laugh. Last time I checked China wasn't in the Middle East but obviously she didn't know that.

In the reading class we were talking about quotes and such. I had to write down some of the more funny/serious ones I heard, I don't know if some else said them first but I still find them highly amusing.

These would have to be some of my favorite ones...
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
"A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of."
"If you want to forget all your other troubles, wear too tight shoes."
"I never know whether to pity or congratulate a person on coming to his senses."
&
"Horse sense is a good judgment which keeps horses from betting on people."

I hate Subjects

2006-05-10T19:06:39Z

Justin and Kris's parents found out were Kris lives. How I have no idea. Luckly Kris is out of town but Tammy was over there trying to find her cellphone I think she said, that's how I know. Kris will be gone till Saturday or Sunday so there's not much to worry about there but it's still a scary thought.

I hate Subjects

2006-05-09T21:47:04Z

I just got home from work... I went in early (at like 4 30 lmao) and am just getting home. I'm so tired but I have to go to Panacea, were ever the hell that is, to pick up Mike. I was suppose to on my lunch break almost 6 hours ago but I didn't take one. How she got there who knows, seeing as both cars are parked in the driveway. I'm probably going to hang out here for another 30 minutes or so before I go and get her. Hopefully I don't fall asleep.

I'm going down to see Tammy after I drop Mike at the house. Kris and Owen are out of town as of this morning. I would bring Mike with me but she and Tammy don't get along that well and the fact I yelled at her last night and making her wait 6 hours before I went to get her wont make her to happy to even try to be nice.

I hate Subjects

2006-05-08T20:03:41Z

Today was bad. Justin's funeral thing was this morning and Kris was absolutely a disaster but that's understandable I guess. Justin's parents showed up for maybe five minutes, it was sickening to look at them. They looked rather amused!!!! Amused! For Christ sake their daughter is in a coffin and their amused! Kris looked about ready to hit her dad when he laughed at her tears, I was close to hitting them myself just for being stupid and unworthy of two daughters or any children for that matter. Some of the things that man said was just gross, Justin's mom wasn't any better, the woman told Kris she was ~~WEAK~~ for caring about her sister!!! What a fucking family to have. Owen looked confused and unhappy; he couldn't understand why Justin didn't wake up. It broke my heart to hear the boy ask Kris if Justin would ever be able to play with him again. I wish the answer to that question had been yes, just like I wish that I could have posted that Justin came out of the coma but that isn't how life works it would seem. I have more to say but it would be unwise to say it at the moment under current conditions.

I hate Subjects

2006-05-07T11:39:08Z

I don't have many words, and the ones I have I wish I didn't.

Justin died on the 5th. I wish I could say more but to be honest I don't know her all that well, even with watching her grow up, there are very few that did know Justin by more than her dark close and name.

I hate Subjects

2006-05-02T22:11:10Z

I feel a little alone. Mike is gone for a week and Justin is in a coma. Poor girl. Just when everybody thought she was getting better she slips. Well it was more of a avalanch. I've known Justin her entire life, I used to babysit her when her sister refused to or was incapable of doing so (she was always hurt some how...). She was the CUTEST kid, I mean I she was adorable but there was always this thing about her. She never looked truely happy. I remember this once when I was babysitting, she was two maybe three, I had taken her to the park and I let her play on the swings and what not they have there but she never really "played" you know. You would expect a kid to run around and laugh and use the slides and play in puddles if they were around but not Justin, she was always so... still. She would sit on the swings or a park bench and watch the other kids. But this one time she was sitting on the bench on the out skirts of the play ground, I was sitting further back letting her do as she wished you know, watching from a distance but anyway this kid came up. He was around her age and he was bashful and all that, it seemed that he asked her to play with him because he pointed over to where he had been but Justin just shook her head, I dont think she even said anything. The boy just climbed next to her and sat there watching what ever it was that he thought she was looking at. After that every time she was at the park and he was there he would go sit next to her and they would just watch things, I think it took like 4 or 5 park visits for her to start to talk to him. He looked so pleased when she finally did start to talk to him. I remember it clear as day, she was sitting on the same park bench were he had first talked to her and she pointed out at the jugle gym where some girls played in the sand box and started to talk. I don't know what she said for I was to far away but the boy looked so pleased that he could have wet his pants. She still hangs out with that little boy, Sammy Johnson, best friends since they were three. Sammy was the one that helped her home from the grave yard, the one that taken her to the hospital yesterday, the one that held her when she cried, and the only one that truely knows what she's feeling and has gone through. Other people have gone through the things she has, yes, but Sammy is the only one she tells EVERYTHING to. How do I know? Because Sammy is the first one she thanked when she layed in the hospital bed right before she slipped into her coma and she said so. Sammy Johnson is her hero, she said so. He and Kris would be the most effected when and if she dies.

I Hate Subjects

2006-04-30T23:24:48Z

It's been two days but it feels like forever. Justin has practicly gone crazy, and Mike is gone for a week. How sad. Well, unlike normal days I don't really have anything to say.

I hate Subjects

2006-04-29T01:08:49Z

My day was bloody awesome! I got to hang out with the two most important women in my life, Mike and Justin, love ya both. Sorry Justin though Mike still comes first. ^_^ Mike didn't kill Justin or threaten to hang her out side the window or anything of the like so it's all good. They were accutaly getting along!!!! That makes me happy. Justin doesn't smile anymore, it makes me sad because she's so sad. I remember a time were you couldn't stop her from smiling, well when she was away from her house and it was so good to see her happy but now she's all sad. Mike and I tried EVERYTHING we could to get her to smile and still nothing. It's sad, I'm going to find out who made Justin so sad and I'm going to kill them. No I'm not. I don't kill people. I do want to make them REALLY unhappy though cuz they hurt my friend. Mike and Tina are going to hang out sometime, donno when. We haven't talked to anyone else besides Justin really but we will in time. Justin was the only one we really missed even though Mike did try to push her down a flight of stairs for looking at me. Such a sweet girl not to hate Mike for that. Anyway. We still need to talk to Kris, Tina, Becky, Ricky, Tom, Thomas, Rover... the list goes on but we will before we leave again..............Maybe.............Anyway got to run Mike keeps tapping me on the should telling me I'm not paying enough attention to her or something, Peace Captin Crunch.

I hate Subjects

2006-04-25T20:01:45Z

You know, I love Justin. Not the way I love Mike but more as a friend you know? The reason I bring this up is I talked to her today and she's still the same girl I knew so long ago. This has down sides mind you but in gerneral she's a good person. Anywayz, I had a great time last night. Mike reminded me why I love her so, her spontanious personality can get a little annoying at times for she can't keep a scheadule for her life but all the same. Mike is WONDERFUL. *Smiles* I love her to death. Anywaz. My love of talking is getting the best of me. I have to go and write more and more and more to get that stupid 10 page essay done. Peace Captin Crunch

I hate Subjects

2006-04-24T22:32:47Z

Alright cowboys or girls which ever I got a LJ today. Obviously right? Anywayz, I'm going to try to hang out with Mike tomorrow. Not the jackass boy Mike but the girl nicknamed Mike. Anywayz, I'll be around I guess. And Mike when and if you read this, I do listen to you. *nods* I do. I do. I do. Wellz peace out ya'll.